Thank you so much for this, Daniel. You're telling my story! I used to be dread the year-end holidays and would fill the quietness with unnecessary work -- cooking lavish meals for large groups of people, spending inordinate amounts of time and money procuring and wrapping gifts, decorations up to the rafters, Christmas-card-writing till my hand grew limp -- all very effective at dulling the pain of anxious, unfulfilled life.
You're right, it starts with recognizing and accepting what's going on. Eventually, I found it less painful to work on my s*** than to continue being driven by my shame, perfectionism and hypervigilance. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very much a work in progress, but doing this work gives me hope. This Christmas, for instance, I'm not cooking at all and haven't bought or wrapped a single gift. (My family and I agreed on a gift giving truce a few years ago.) Instead, I'm planning on cozy times with my partner - movies, fires, books, stews, hot chocolate a.k.a. "hygge" in Danish).
One of the cornerstones of my recovery from codependency, perfectionism and workaholism are weekly online ACA meetings (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families) where I meet people dealing with very similar struggles and we support each other in changing.
Another cornerstone is morning meditation and the slowest, gentlest, most restorative and self-compassionate yoga on the planet (Avita Yoga - it's all online).
A third has been a deep exploration of self-compassion practices, which felt fake at first, but now feel incredibly nurturing.
Finally, therapy (individual and with my partner) to work through trauma going back to early childhood and weaving its way through most of my life (I'm 57 - better late than never 🥴.)
It's a journey, my friend, but growth is possible. I'd even say, once you've awakened, it's inevitable. Give a hug and a kiss to Wallis for me -- what a blessing. 😍
What a wonderful comment, thank you. As you said, the journey is with the awareness and this year I’m understanding myself more than ever. It’s the quietest Christmas and probably the most enjoyable too ❤️❤️
Thank you so much for this, Daniel. You're telling my story! I used to be dread the year-end holidays and would fill the quietness with unnecessary work -- cooking lavish meals for large groups of people, spending inordinate amounts of time and money procuring and wrapping gifts, decorations up to the rafters, Christmas-card-writing till my hand grew limp -- all very effective at dulling the pain of anxious, unfulfilled life.
You're right, it starts with recognizing and accepting what's going on. Eventually, I found it less painful to work on my s*** than to continue being driven by my shame, perfectionism and hypervigilance. Don't get me wrong, I'm still very much a work in progress, but doing this work gives me hope. This Christmas, for instance, I'm not cooking at all and haven't bought or wrapped a single gift. (My family and I agreed on a gift giving truce a few years ago.) Instead, I'm planning on cozy times with my partner - movies, fires, books, stews, hot chocolate a.k.a. "hygge" in Danish).
One of the cornerstones of my recovery from codependency, perfectionism and workaholism are weekly online ACA meetings (Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families) where I meet people dealing with very similar struggles and we support each other in changing.
Another cornerstone is morning meditation and the slowest, gentlest, most restorative and self-compassionate yoga on the planet (Avita Yoga - it's all online).
A third has been a deep exploration of self-compassion practices, which felt fake at first, but now feel incredibly nurturing.
Finally, therapy (individual and with my partner) to work through trauma going back to early childhood and weaving its way through most of my life (I'm 57 - better late than never 🥴.)
It's a journey, my friend, but growth is possible. I'd even say, once you've awakened, it's inevitable. Give a hug and a kiss to Wallis for me -- what a blessing. 😍
What a wonderful comment, thank you. As you said, the journey is with the awareness and this year I’m understanding myself more than ever. It’s the quietest Christmas and probably the most enjoyable too ❤️❤️
Doing nothing is more difficult than it sounds. Beautiful piece, as always 🙏🏽
Thank you 😘
Thanks for sharing. Defo relate. May peace find its way into the small moments this Christmas.
🙏🙏🙏