A lot of my stress in life is created around the hindsight of what I could have done better in a situation, notably why I didn’t say anything or stand up for myself. If I think about it, it’s never about my anger towards the person; it's more anger towards myself for not being better and standing my ground. I’m forever hard on myself for my moments of paralysis. As the trauma relives in my mind, I can feel the dry mouth and racing heart rate symptoms as an inner voice is screaming, “Say something!” In the face of significant traumas, my default response has often been to do nothing, to remain inert and compliant— fawn. This non-response stems from an overwhelming sense of fear and helplessness.
Understanding the Fawn Response
Traumatic experiences can have profound effects on the psyche, often resulting in various stress responses. Among these, the "fawn" response is less discussed yet crucial to understand. The fawn response is a stress reaction where an individual copes by pleasing or appeasing others to avoid conflict, danger, or further trauma. This response is part of the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn (4Fs) typology of trauma responses. While fight and flight are more proactive responses to danger, freeze and fawn are more passive.
The fawn response involves suppressing one's own needs and emotions to pacify the perceived threat, often leading to a pattern of codependency, people-pleasing behaviour, and a chronic state of hypervigilance. This reaction is rooted in the desire to ensure safety by seeking to please the aggressor, which can be a survival mechanism in abusive or highly stressful situations.
Media Influence and the Fawn Response
The overwhelming influx of media coverage, public opinions, and political discourse can exacerbate feelings of helplessness and fear, reinforcing the fawn response. Major terror events around the world have left physical and emotional scars on survivors and witnesses, while also inducing widespread public outcry. The sheer scale of these tragedies overwhelms our collective consciousness, often resulting in a societal freeze where individuals feel powerless and unable to act. During such times, the fawn response can become more pronounced. The need to maintain peace, avoid conflict, and ensure personal safety becomes paramount, often leading to behaviours such as agreeing with dominant narratives, avoiding controversial discussions, and exhibiting heightened compliance.
The societal pressure to take a stance, coupled with personal trauma, often results in emotional paralysis. This collective retreat into passivity, while a natural coping mechanism, can perpetuate feelings of guilt and shame for not having responded more actively or assertively.
Healing and Moving Forward
Understanding the fawn response is a critical step towards healing. Recognising that this response is a survival mechanism rather than a character flaw can alleviate some of the guilt and shame associated with inaction. It is essential to acknowledge and validate these feelings, offering oneself compassion and understanding.
Therapeutic approaches such as trauma-informed therapy, mindfulness, and self-compassion practices can help address the underlying fears and emotions associated with the fawn response. By gradually building a sense of safety and self-worth, individuals can learn to assert their needs and boundaries, moving from a state of appeasement to one of empowerment.
The fawn response is a complex and often misunderstood reaction to significant trauma. It is a natural survival mechanism that can have lasting impacts on mental health and well-being. By understanding and addressing this response, individuals can begin to heal and reclaim their sense of agency and self-worth.
Reference: Lupien, S., Juster, R., Raymond, C., & Marin, M. (2018). The effects of chronic stress on the human brain: From neurotoxicity, to vulnerability, to opportunity. Frontiers in Neuroendocrinology, 49, 91-105. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.yfrne.2018.02.001.